i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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