when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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