Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
that is very illegal...i love you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
