You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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