That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
