From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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