Christians are straight up FREAKS
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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