i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
