She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
