We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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