check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize