we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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