Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
