Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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