soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize