im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
