She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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