I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
