Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
