i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Your dad touched me again.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
