We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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