did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
