Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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