Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think my vagina is haunted
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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