What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
