I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
