how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Let's get the cat blown out
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
