Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
