nut hugger
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize