Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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