I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When did angry sex become our thing?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
