i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Congratulations! We have a period
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
