are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
