So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
