You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
