if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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