Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
