i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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