I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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