How'd it feel making her break her religion?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
