hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
