Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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