Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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