The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize