He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize