well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
