I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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