Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
