Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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