spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
That accounts for only three of the penises
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize