tell your sister to shave her snatch
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
