just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
