White coat. Heels.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
