I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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