I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
