ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
