My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
