friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
