Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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