I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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