I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
