you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
