I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
