last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize