i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
