My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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