I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize
