i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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