Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
