This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
