She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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