I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
